Wow, no one ever wore THIS when I lived in Beijing. Can you imagine? How could one hop on a bike in one of these? How would they weather the dust storms and snow flurries? How could I sit on a teensy stool and slurp my noodles in one of these getups?
But how much better would it have been if everyone had worn these!

Jack in the Box got free. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

His paper boat got out of control. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Jason in Japan! Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

A dysfunctional sunshade. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

A flamingo who'd be at home at the Queen of Hearts' garden party. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

A speedskating costume... Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

... Or the death shroud of a red-faced man. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Her private areas are a magic eye! Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Jenga! Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

About to give birth to a diamond-shaped baby? Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

I want an outfit...where my enormous brain will be on view... Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

A Capri sun, in fur. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Your secret symbol is not so secret? Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Pixellated boobies! Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

From the swimming pool to the ski lodge. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Over the top origami... Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Warm, with easy access to wine corks: functional! Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Google maps, in knit... by my grandma.Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Gorgeous! Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Amazing! Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

This nurse is a bit afraid of H1N1... Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

My only question: This...with shorts? Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

With all the grace and beauty... of a clawed cockroach. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

If this didn't have a face shield or claws... it'd be so much less hot. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

As cute as a cupcake! Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Smooth as the sea. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

I think the Dongsi-sitao subway doors closed a bit too quick on her dress. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

A hand-fan of a dress... Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

Ready to salsa! Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages

She's as hot as... a flying squirrel. Photo Credit: TomandLorenzo/GettyImages